I deleted my Vinted App

I am really proud of myself now. I did it! I deleted my Vinted App!

In case you don’t know, it is an app, where (mostly) girls and women exchange, buy and sell second hand clothes. Most European countries have a website and mobile version of it. Why am I making such a big deal out of it then? It’s just an app. Let me explain.

Vinted started in Czech Republic more than a decade ago. I joined when I was like sixteen or seventeen, so I have the account for almost ten years. That is a hell lot of time. You wonder what is so great about a second-hand-clothes-app? Well, I never really sold clothes on there. I didn’t even buy many. But there is a function for opening a new threads for discussions in the community section of the app (or website). You can discuss anything from motherhood, style, shopping tips, household struggles, love affairs, family issues, really anything. You can ask the community for help, when you can’t decide what colour of a handbag you should choose, you can ask others for tips and opinions on topics like Zero waste or going vegan, you can ask for advice, when your relationship doesn’t feel right or when your pet won’t stop chewing your shoes.

I am pretty sure there are other platforms like this and that most young people are a part of some online community, where they can discuss stuff and share what occupies them. The thing is, being active on Vinted for almost a decade really took overhand several times. I spend whole nights researching options and trying to advise complete strangers in their difficult life situations, I shared every success and failure with those strangers first, too. Sometimes, they would know more about my fears, worries, wishes, achievements and failures than my best friends and family. I have not seen some of my friends for months or even years but I checked Vinted every day multiple times, to see, if anything new happened. I installed the mobile app maybe five years ago, after I moved to Germany and got my first real smartphone. I didn’t feel so alone, with hundreds of women being there for me any time of the day. I haven’t made any real girlfriends since I moved abroad and I only get to see my old friends few times a year.

Last few weeks or maybe months I’ve been really trying hard to change and improve my life. I’ve been using the app QualityTime to track how much time I actually spend on my phone. I knew it was a lot. I use it for a lot of tasks after all, chatting, learning, reading, listening to podcasts, music, audiobooks, banking, shopping – it saves me a lot of time, too. I was convinced I use it for important and useful stuff.

I looked at the data from the QualityTime app and realized I have been spending 4 – 7 hours a day on my phone! That is like a part time job! Only that I don’t get paid for it. Moreover, I pay for the internet and battery charging. On the top of that, at least one hour a day but mostly at least the half of the whole time I spent on my phone was this Vinted app.

Even when I’m really optimistic and count very low and would say I spent half an hour a day on there the last 8 years (website and app) – still it is 1460 hours, 60 days – but I’m sure it’s more – I spent several months of my life on an online platform with total strangers. I got several good tips, I learned a lot, I met some interesting people and I made a few “friends”. I travelled to Romania with a group of people I met there. I bought several cool pieces of clothes I love, I explored shops, websites and lifestyles I would have never find out about. I have helped people and got help and support, when I needed it, that is definitely a good thing. Still, it wasn’t worth the time.

Now you see, it was a big deal for me. And now it’s over a week since I deleted it. Do I miss it? Yes. Do I still use the platform? Yes. I am not (yet) prepared to delete an account I had for so long. Do I still use my phone too much? Yes, I do. But hey, I even had a day or two in the last week, when I didn’t even thought of signing in until late at night. And you know what? I missed nothing. Nobody died or made fatally bad decision without my advice. Nobody missed me. I’m happy I did it. It took like one minute to make a big change and a real impact on my life. It cost no money and didn’t even hurt.

PS: I wrote this article back in January or maybe first week of February. Now it’s the end of March. It is really “out of sight – out of mind” I have not signed in for at least two weeks. I wonder sometimes how some girls from the community are doing but I didn’t care enough to sign in. I managed to reduce my screen time to somewhere between 1-3 hours a day. I think there is still some improvement potential in there but it is still the half of the time I used to spend on my phone and that’s huge for me. Just in two moths I broke a habit I had for years – I would have never believed it’s so easy and painless.

How I got diagnosed with adult ADHD and why nobody notice earlier

So as I am probably going to refer to my ADHD more often in future posts, I decided to write this post now, before I get to coping strategies and other things I want to share about my life.

First, for those who don't know what ADHD is, I recommend following links:

ADHD Essentials
ADHD in Adults

And this video:

I choose these resources on purpose, because they inform accurately and they both provide more than the basics in case you are interested to learn more. I could probably sum it up in my words, but I choose not to, as other people already did a great job on that and I don't wanna get scientific on my blog. I just want to share my experience and I do provide the backgrounds for those who are interested.

Now, I don't know why you're reading this, but there is a good chance that you either are someone who is seeking a diagnosis or wonders if he could possibly have ADHD at all, or you know someone who you suspect to have it. Therefore I'll go straight to the point.

So I am 25 years old. Or more precisely I'm turning 25 in April. I got my ADHD diagnosis over a year ago, so at the age of 23. That is kinda late for such diagnosis, you think? Well you are right. ADHD actually should be recognised and diagnosed in the school age, in some cases even preschool age.
The thing about ADHD is, that you either have it or not, you can't get it later in life nor can you cure it or loose it. But most people who get diagnosed early, can learn enough coping methods to "grow out" of ADHD. ADHD meds can support this process strongly, so later in life most adults with ADHD just know their limits, know their weaknesses and accommodate their lifestyle and job to what they know best - for a lot of them and especially for the people around them it feels like the ADHD is gone. That's why a lot of people think that adults can't have ADHD.
I got diagnosed 3 years after I moved out of my mothers apartment. I knew I was messy and forgetful and I just assumed I'm gonna learn the skills "on the road" and that it's just part of my character.
More and more often I got in troubles, I forgot to pay a bill, lost my keys, lost my purse, my driving licence, my ID, forgot my shift at work, was always late - ALWAYS. After two years as a waitress, my boss decided to remodel the bistro I worked in and I didn't want to wait until he gets done to go back to work, so I found myself another job. A factory job. I actually liked the people and most of the work but although I learnt remarkably fast, I always made mistakes and worse - it took far too much time to notice (Ever had to peel of the labels from 5000 bottles of soda because you put them in the machine the other way around? I had.) At some point a colleague of mine asked if I had any diagnosed disorder because he just finds it unbelievable that someone apparently smart and hard working can be so forgetful, easily distractable and not notice things even when they're happening right in front of me.
I thought about it a lot and observed other people - they seem to have no problems like I did. I asked my mum and my friends to tell me if they honestly think that my behaviour was beyond normal. They all did.
I knew ADHD existed but I actually, just like many other people had small school boys in mind when I heard the term. I went to see my GP and told him I had memory and concentration problems. He sent me to a neurologist who made several tests (just machines, no interview) and obviously found nothing. When my GP told me the "good news" I almost cried. "So I am just clumsy and lazy forgetful, that's it?" I asked him. And he took some time to thing and then suggested I get checked for ADHD. He explained what it was (I still remember there was a helicopter outside, while he talked, so I missed half of what he said.) It took a while to get an appointment with psychiatrist who specialised on diagnosing adults). When I met him, I really tried to look normal but I played with my scarf all the time, I ripped several post-its in thiny pieces and forgotten my bullet journal in his office, so I guess diagnosing me after that was not very difficult. He asked me a lot of question beginning with my birth, my childhood, school, friends, addictions, how I react to alcohol, weed and pain killers... After I think two appointments I had my diagnose - Adult ADHD, dysgraphia, dyspraxia and suspected giftedness. I got meds and started to read and learn about this old-new monster I've been living with all my life. - TO BE CONTINUED

So I stop here, because other aspects of medication, diagnosis and therapy are just too much for one post.

Now why nobody noticed earlier? I was asking myself this question many times since then, My mum too. I think she might have felt a bit bad about it - obviously she should have recognise it.
But I was never a troublemaker - I had exceptionally good notes at school, never had to learn at home and did a lot of extra projects, took part in competitions and had numerous hobbies, everywhere (except for sport) I was over the average and I tried hard.
I was clumsy, yes - the only teacher who ever complained about me was the sports teacher. Most kids with ADHD are actually rather sporty - or at least that's what you usually hear. I was as well never one of those kids who run around and their parents live in constant fear of what happens this time. No I was the kind of child you sit somewhere, equip it with some pencils and paper or books and you find it there several hours later. I was messy, disorganised, slow and always late for everything, lost whatever I could loose and forgot everything that I didn't find interesting. But most teachers liked me, because I knew everything and was always eager to do some more work, so they just looked away when I spend whole classes reading under the desk or drawing or when I handed out another homework that "I'm sorry, my mum forgot to sign it" written in still wet ink, as I had no idea there was a homework just 15 minutes ago.
I think that the label "peculiar but very smart" just left me unpunished for a lot of things, other kids would have been punished for. And it kept me far away from any diagnosis. It was OK to be peculiar or special as my notes were good and I wasn't doing anything particularly bad.
And with the years I became great at making up excuses and changing the topic or using humour to get out of uncomfortable conversations and embarrassing situations. I was mostly nice and smiled all the time so people just kind of could not accuse me of having any disorder.
I think this is one of the typical reasons why women and girls get diagnosed so rarely. We are great at masking. We observe what other people expect or want us to do or say and we do. We see what works well for other people to avoid troubles and punishments and we learn that.
Second thing is that girls tend to be hyperactive in a different way. Lot of girls actually just have ADD, without hyperactivity. I am hyperactive, but not like boys tend to be. I just need to occupy my mind or hands or both. My mind would always run "full power" but it is invisible to everyone else. As there are a lot of myths and stereotypes around ADHD, people would mostly seek for the known symptoms and only do something about it when it bothers them. Girls with ADHD usually aren't loud and all over the place and don't break anything they touch, so the people around them are less likely to take a closer look. That's how I explain that.

So that's all. If you found it helpful or have story to share - I would be pleased to hear from you in the comments.

BACK TO THE ROOTS - JUST BLOGGING

Dear Lennie, Dear Everyone,

So apparently exchanging letters with a doll does not appeal to me (I'm sorry, Lennie). I thought it was a genius concept for a blog. And I don't know, maybe it was, maybe readers would have loved to read it. But I am not the person to write it.

It has been over a month and I wasn't even able to add the pictures to the first post. I did take those pictures, but I couldn't get over posting them without editing and I couln't think of a cool and cute way of editing them. Like it was important, seriously, who cares how blog pictures are edited unless design or photography is your job?
So I guess I start over (and leave the first post here). So what happened since 20th of January and why am I starting a blog. I did tidy and clean the hallway and the space in front of our bedroom (it looked teriible, believe me, even without before/after picture. I made a space for my doll Lennie on the top of my bureau and while doing that I was wondering what kind of doll she was. Which ended up in me spending over 350 € (dont't tell anybody) on dolls and made me change the name of the blog. So I am now officialy a doll collector.

And I went back to writing a blog. I had a blog (OK, blogs) before, but I always used Czech, my mother tonque, and I used to write about current affairs, school and post my drawings and photographs. I had one of those blogs for 10 years. I mean that's a lot of time! And it was not even my first, I remember blogging at the age of 12 or 13, that means the half of my life. I am no longer interested in Photography (I lack of talent to be honest and don't wnat to spend any money on equipment, so I rather look at other people's photos). I don't draw as much as I did back then and I don't like to review books anymore. I am still itersted in current affairs, but no longer in commenting them. I visited my old blog several time since January and I realized I was kind of saying Good by to that period of my life and burried my blog. I should have done it long ago - it was as dead as blog could be. I no longer wanted to write in my mother tonque (don't get me wrong, I love my mother tonque, but I no longer follow the czech community of bloggers) - I realized I want to reach more people and I am aware of the fact, that I might make more mistakes in English as it's my third language, but I'll just take the risk.

I missed blogging. I just wasn't sure if I have anything to offer. I mean blog needs content, right? But I am not interested in writting a food blog, neither do I want to blog about traveling, fitness or any other popular topic - I like to read about it though.
I admit I got a little bit stuck with the concept. With all those successful blogers and influencers, of course I was considering if and how I could make money with the hobby.
But most of the successful bloggers as well say that you can never produce good content without being passionate about the topic. And I am not passionate about any of those popular topics, bloggers make money with. But recently I just asked myself - why do I miss blogging? Is it any kind of popularity I am missing or is it just the blogging itself. And I realized that I never before wanted to blog for money, or success or popularity, not even for other people. I blog for myself. Just that.

So from now on, I have no lifestyle blog, no fashion blog, no tech blog or food blog.
I have a personal blog about ME - my favourite topic of all.

Your Lennroe

Nr. 1: The unexpected letter that has not changed anything, (yet)

When I got out of bed today, something unexpected happened. I got a letter. But it did not came with the mail.  No. No owls as well. I'll put a picture below. Let us take a look inside.

Dear Lennroe, 

I have been living with you for a while. You know I am there, it was you who brought me home after all. I know you had some cool plans with me, like doing cool photos and maybe creating an instagram just for me, but you were too busy to do anything. You moved me a few times from one place to another and gave me something to wear. Now I decided to take my life in my own hands and let you know, that if you have no plans with me, then I have some plans with you. Or we can have plans together if you accept my challenge. 

 I have been watching you every day since I moved in and I see that you have been trying  really hard in the last few months and weeks to improve your life. You fail and succeed, pretty normal in my opinion. But I really think you could succeed more and fail less. I have heard you saying, that you wish you had a coach or assistant, to remind you, what you have to do, to motivate you, give you feedback and to help you stay focused. 

You have not said it has to be a real human. So why not me? I know your habits and lifestyle well, I live here already and cost no money and I am bored anyway. So what do you say? My offer is, that we are going to exchange letters, as I obviously cannot speak. My letters are going to give you step by step guidance to whatever you decide to achieve, feedback on what you already did and reminders and motivation. Your letters are going to reflect what you have done right and wrong, how you feel about it and how far you have come, since the last letter. You can share anything you want with me. Together we aim for better. Whatever it means to you. To us. More fun, more adventure, less stuff, less bad habits... 

To make it more fun and to share our progress I suggest your first step is to make a blog about our journey. You missed blogging anyway, right? Second step. Please move me somewhere else. I assure you that sitting on a wooden rain deer day and night is no fun. And beside that, I love your dog, I do, but he sometimes smells funny and makes weird noises and it is so dark in here. Please, find some nicer place for me. Third, please tell me a bit about your progress so far, what you accomplished in the last time and what you struggle with the most, so we can concentrate on that. Four. Even when you move me, this corner looks terrible, what about tidying it, to do something productive? Today is Sunday, so I guess, four small steps are enough for the beginning. Let me know you, how you have done and if you want to give my idea a go. 

So to make it simple, today goals are:

1. Revive your blog and post about us.
2. Find a neat spot for me
3. Respond to my letter and describe, how far you have gone on your journey until today. Of course only if you want to try it.
4. Tidy this part of hallway, your dog sleeps here and you go by every morning and evening, it should look nice.  

Sincerely Yours

Lennie the Doll

Wait, did a doll just hand me a letter? Well things like that certainly don't happen every day, so I guess I'm in. 

I tried so many strategies and methods so far. If exchanging letters with  a doll is going to get me anywhere, great! If not, well then it has at least been fun idea. 

I let you know, when anything new happens.